In praise of the stepmother online dating dating outside your economic class
It’s a funny little thing, but in my experience, there is no place with more pretty girls walking around by themselves than the grocery store. With confident eye contact, even if you have to fake the bravery.
The next time I see a woman respond to a guy brave enough to say hi to her with cold-shoulder bitchiness meant to shame him will be the first time. I do know people who have met wonderful partners that way.
“There are certain kinds of dudes who I imagine have a great time dating online,” I said. I’ll never be mistaken for a dashing billionaire playboy or movie star, but history suggests the general female population finds me more attractive than my spotty-at-best dating life might indicate. Whether we enjoy talking to them and want to do more of it.
“You’ll just have to take my word for it that 36-year-old single fathers who look like me aren’t among them.” Glad you asked. And here’s why: The experience of standing in front of someone and talking to them and watching them move around and interact with you and others is, historically, how people decide to whom they are attracted. People don’t often think of it this way, but sexual attraction (from a purely physical standpoint) is a simple pass-or-fail test. Whether we discover common interests and build intimacy. To someone who has never been married, it means I come with baggage. Single women with no children aren’t always keen on becoming a stepmother to a child they’ve never met, or competing with that child’s mother.
Joe keeps visiting Kathleen’s store and when he brings his young nephew with him, the truth comes out that he’s connected to the bookstore that’s driving her out of business.
We either find a person attractive enough to get naked with, or we don’t. What determines whether we actually get naked with that person are the 90% of things that actually matter to us. Whether they are safe and trustworthy, however we define that. I’m decent-looking enough to pass the pass-or-fail attractiveness test most of the time, and I’m smart and friendly and kind enough, and occasionally charming and engaging and funny enough, that the person I’m standing in front of will sometimes want more. But since the average female height in the United States is 5’5”, and the vast majority of women I meet are shorter than me, it tends to not be much of an issue in-person. I have no idea how that plays in the minds of women either online or in-person, but my best guess is that it makes me more attractive to older women than it does to anyone my age or younger. And to divorced women who got screwed over by their exes, it could trigger feelings in them that maybe I’m like their ex-husband. I imagine childless women frequently rule out fathers because of that.